Well, it's time...

I'm moving. HERE I've put it off long enough and since I've fucked up this template again, might as well make today the day. Please join me over here.

Would You Buy a Dildo From This Man?

Jack Nicholson, dildo salesman? Says he's considering marketing day-glo dildos. Apparently, he strapped one on for a recent movie and liked it. A lot. Well, who doesn't? ... I mean, that's what I've heard. You know, considering the loads of ass he has scored, you almost have to respect his authorit-AH on the subject.

Before and After (?)

If we follow Lee's suggestions, we should end up with something like this: Trust me...if I had MY way, we would do just this. So far, I haven't been able to sell the pimped version to the task master.

Clean it

I obsess over dust on the face of a tv or computer screen. It makes me crazy. If I see it, I feel compelled to either clean it, or write a little message in it. Neither is ever acknowledged. So unappreciated... Earlier today, I was cleaning my computer screen when K walked in. She said... "You know... you could take that rag into the bedroom and clean off the TV screen, instead of writing FUCK ME or EAT ME or any of the of the other nasty stuff you think is so funny..." ...and I thought she didn't notice...

Making WHAT??

K has a special pillow that she can't live without. It's one of those microbead cushie-pillow things. Miss Who seeks it out when she wants to make biscuits. This morning, I mentioned that the pillow is looking a little raggedy and K concurred. It's Miss Who's fault. She always uses it when she wants to make brownies. {i raise my eyebrows} Or whatever you call it... (Jesus Christ)

Lips Sealed

S: You know.... my blob friends are making fun of me because I have to sand this god damned buggy K: Yeah, well... you be sure and tell them how long you lasted... Heh, I will NOT.

Brazilian TMI

Tonight, K told me that her sister (A) is planning to take her to the fancy pancy salon that she frequents to get her eyebrows waxed. I thought I'd take advantage of K's naivete and recommended that she ask the lady for a Brazilian wax (hehe). No go. She told me, "Hell no! I know what that is, you bitch." Oops. (Hey...I tried) We both wish that was the end of the story, but when A is involved, there's always more. Several years ago, A told us that she surprised her husband with a Brazilian wax and he felt like a pervert (pedophile-ish). Apparently, he's had a change of heart or SHE changed his mind. A couldn't resist telling how awesome it was when he went down on her... this is her SISTER saying this shit! Sorry folks, that is the extent of the information gleaned. K stopped her cold by saying, "that's enough, unless you want details of my sex life." Yeah... end of story. If you have anything to ad on the subject...please, educate me. NOT that I'd do it...

Nice way to spend a Saturday

SEC Football Game cooler of beer vat of Rotel dip couple of cheerleaders my wife this fucking jacuzzi oh mannnnn

Gaydar pings on ANTM

Well, my Gaydar isn't totally broken. I pegged the two (admitted) lesbians in Cycle 7 of America's Next Top Model. Then again, it wasn't such a stretch to assume that Megan (pictured here) and Michelle are homos. They're both a little butch. In Megan's interview with AfterEllen, she states that 5 of the 13 are bi-curious. Not surprising, given their ages. I'm always more amazed when an 18 year old already has it figured out. But, kids learn things earlier these days. I didn't realize that I was a lesbian until I was about 19. Thinking back, I should have known waaaaay sooner, but I lead a somewhat sheltered life and never really knew it was an option. ........To my fellow homos: How old were you when you knew? And for my straight peeps: Did you ever question your sexuality?

TLF embarrasses me, again

He was hiding under my desk, with my camera this afternoon. When he came out, I checked his pictures, one of which was a lovely crotch shot of yours truly. I was on the phone with a friend at the time (I do have one or two) and thought it would be cute for him to tell about the cooter picture... I handed him the phone and The Little Fucker proudly announced... Hey... I just took a picture of Syd's Penis. Fucker!!